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About the Author
Alister Flik grew up in a fundamentalist Christian home in the Midwest with a healthy variety of crazy available to her, and her middle child syndrome hardly affects her at all anymore. At 18, she moved to the West Coast, got a tattoo, and now lives happily as a quirky theist amidst the Portland heathens she so dearly loves. Her idols are Joan of Arc (crazy or not), Flannery O'Connor, and Daria. Her favorite superhero is the perfect superhuman combination of Joan of Arc, Flannery O'Connor, and Daria dressed in a cape, armor, boots, and armed with wit and a pen. She is currently looking for someone to illustrate this into a comic book.
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I Swear
Do you remember that time I fell asleep with you?  I swear I wasn't afraid.


I have nightly nightmares.  It's still sleep.  I mean it's sleep still.

I pray, now I lay me down, and down I lay.  This does not prove anything.

I think, I think I love God.  I think, I think He's there.  He must think I'm something.

I may be several somethings.  "Just be yourself" is empty advice.  Which one?  


Do you remember that time you kissed me?  I swear that didn't mean anything.


I've never had to deal with mistletoe.  Or it's never had to deal with me.

I once touched the bark on a tree.  I don't think it felt me.  I think I felt an insect.

When people touch me, I wonder if God is the blankness in my mind.

I would be a white slate if I could be stone, but my flesh doesn't break with me.


Do you remember that smile I gave?  I swear it wasn't fake.


I think sometimes that a bending red line follows my feet like the teeth under a misspelled word.

I would want children to always smile, but then this would be a horror movie.

Sometimes bad movies are good for a laugh, but good movies can make me feel bad.

I don't think that life is about finding happiness.  A friend told me it was.  I was disappointed.


Do you remember that I used to play with toy soldiers?  I swear that wasn't a sign.


I wish I had a battle cry.  Sometimes I wish I had the need for a battle cry.

I think that babies won't cry when I hold them.  Disappointment has no age limit.

I wonder who the first person was who said, "Everything will be alright."  I'd like to meet them.

Sometimes cliches of unfinished doll people walk in front of my mind.  I know them.


Do you remember those words that I wrote?  I swear they don't mean anything.  

"I do not think, therefore I am a mustache."
-Sartre *Nausea*
 
Francis Meyrick

I kind of like this. I suspect most readers would not.
Now, why?
I guess -for me- it's got that vibration of "intense honesty".
Good.
Also a neat way of pin pricking at the absurdity of platitudes.
Also, it searches. Hunts? No, it questions.
"I don't think that life is about finding happiness.  A friend told me it was.  I was disappointed."
Nah. It's probably more about finding the questions. Most people don't bother.



Now, the answers? Ah! Enjoy the ride.
"I wish I had a battle cry."
Last line of Jean Paul Sartre's play (Huis Clos).
"Eh bien, continuons...". ("Now then, let us continue...")
"Sometimes I wish I had the need for a battle cry."
Book of Proverbs: "The Lord pondereth the heart."
"I think, I think I love God.  I think, I think He's there.  He must think I'm something."
Ah. God. Now THAT is a cool question. Does He,or does He not, ride a Harley? In which case, would He, would He not, wave at me on my humble  Honda VTX 1300R?
Plus, does He pay taxes? Worry about inflation? Stare in horror at the latest stock market melt down? And if he doesn't, well, how can He say he's informed? Hmmm....
"Sometimes bad movies are good for a laugh, but good movies can make me feel bad."
Um. Are you quoting Ecclesiastes again?
Grin
(Keep 'em coming...)



Last edited by Francis Meyrick on December 27, 2009, 10:42 pm


We little humans, hurtling through the Universe on our tiny, pale blue dot, will find few answers to Life's great mysteries. But we should at least find many of the questions. To write is to ask. To seek. To grope. With humility, and humor. Peace.
Posted on Sunday, December 27, 2009 at 19:47:36

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